If you struggle with asking for help, take heart that you are not alone. Even people who are in the helping business, like therapists and the like, all have trouble seeking help. There is something in our human psyche that hates to admit it is hard to ask for help. Why is this such a difficult cavern for us to cross?
There are common reasons why people find it tough to admit they need help. In a day and age where people tout the need to be authentic, you would think it would be easier to admit you need help. Nevertheless, the common practice among us all tends to be suffering in silence. It does not have to be this way. Here are three common reasons why people typically find it is hard to ask for help.
It Is Hard To Ask For Help If You Worry What People Think
The overarching theme for all of these reasons why it is hard to ask for help is worrying about what people think. Concern about being judged by others is a powerful feeling. No one wants to fall short in front of other people. But it is the exact reason that plagues all of us.
You might say that you do not care what people think, but your behavior will find you out every time. You might be worried about what other people think if you presume one of these things when you find it hard to ask for help.
“This isn’t bad enough to ask for help.”
What does this statement say? If you are struggling, then it is something that is challenging for you. Why is something that you are struggling with not that bad? What is going through someone’s mind when they say this is that if someone knew they were asking for help with this, they would think it was not worth asking for help.
If you are dealing with something that is standing in the way of you living your life with joy and peace, then you need to ask for help. The consequences of not asking for help are many. Get help when you need it instead of waiting until it is so bad that it starts doing damage to you mentally or physically.
“I should be able to handle this myself.”
This is just beating yourself up for asking for help before you do. Admitting it is hard to ask for help, and getting it, is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are strong enough to admit you can’t do everything. Big spoiler alert: No one can handle everything on their own. Try getting what you need when you need it instead of placing a lot of unnecessary guilt on yourself. No one can take on the world alone.
I didn’t know where to go for help with this.”
This is what being afraid of what people think looks like in disguise. If you don’t know where you are going in your car, you ask for directions. The same is true when you need to ask for help. No one thinks less of you when you are lost and want to ask them for the right way to go. Think of asking for help with anything else in your life the same way. It’s okay to admit you are lost and ask for the way to go. So it is with everything else in life. You can be sure there is someone who does know If you don’t know where to go for help with something. Just ask.
Everyone you know has had to ask for help with at least one thing in their lives. You may not realize that the strongest person you know has asked for help more than once. Strong people know their strength. You can be sure they know when they need help. It’s okay to admit it is hard to ask for help for this reason. The strongest among us feel weak sometimes. It’s okay. That means you are human.
It Is Hard To Ask For Help When It Is Life-changing
Denial is an ugly word, but that is usually the first thing we do when something feels overwhelming. It feels safer to try and put life-altering decisions aside when emotions are going full-tilt, and you don’t know what to do next. That is when it is hard to ask for help; when you don’t want to admit what is happening.
At the ABC Women’s Center, there are many things that women and their families come to us for help. Struggling moms and dads often find it is hard to ask for help. Moms and dads who are finding it hard to make decisions need a listening ear to help them wade through fear and anxiety. Talking through all the ‘what ifs’ let’s go of the scenarios in your mind so you can get to the heart of the real issue and talk about what lies ahead. No one makes good decisions when they are scared. Slow down and talk it out so you can figure out what comes next.
If you are struggling with a life-altering decision regarding your family, you need to know there is a place you can go to for help. We know it is hard to ask for help when being a parent feels so overwhelming. Let us listen so we can offer the right kind of solution. Help is just a phone call away. Let us know today what we can do to help you make the right decision for you and your children.