December 16, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Most of us are pondering the baby in the manger this time of year. The recollection of the story brings mystery and joy to all who reflect on it. But the story is more than it appears to the casual ponderer. We can glean much from the story of Baby Jesus that shapes us about the value of choosing life. When we consider how infinitely valuable the babe in the manger was to the human race, it is easy to see how important it is to consider life for every unborn girl and boy.
The one thing we never know about is the future. The future in the time continuum we live in does not permit us to see how each choice we make can impact our lives later or society as a whole. Who could an unborn baby be in the future? We don’t know until the future arrives at the present. And that, my friends, is the rub. What are we trading when we don’t seriously consider choosing life?
Many times, women are apprehensive about choosing life because of difficult circumstances. They cite things like housing insecurity or financial troubles as reasons that choosing life is not the best option for herself or her unborn baby. What does the story of Jesus’ birth have to say about that?
If you want to consider housing insecurity as a reason not to choose life, consider Mary’s position in Jesus’s story. She was days from delivery, being transported on a donkey to Bethlehem for a census. I don’t know about you, but that sounds awfully uncomfortable to me! Most women when they are days from delivery just want to find a comfortable spot to lay down and wait. The situation became all the direr when Joseph was unsuccessful with finding a place for them to stay for the night. The solution? Try and bed down in a stable.
Have you ever been in a stable? It is full of livestock, smelly, and horribly unsanitary. This was not a great place to sleep, nevermind have a baby! Women who think that everything in life has to line up perfectly to welcome a baby into their lives are missing out on one key factor; there is so such thing as everything lining up right in life. There will always be challenges. There will always be difficulties. But unlike in Mary’s day, there are services and solutions for pregnant women facing housing insecurity. There is always a solution to a housing problem.
Other times, it is easy to point to a lack of resources as a reason that choosing life is not an option. Again we consider Mary’s situation but this time from the position of lack of resources. When we consider the story, we see that Mary didn’t have much for Jesus when he was born. He was wrapped in cloths and put in a feeding troth for animals. That was it. All she had to greet her new son with were rags and a feeding troth. For those thinking they don’t have anything for a baby, there are services and agencies to help moms and dads prepare for a baby’s arrival. Resource centers like ABC Women’s Center work hard to provide things like cribs, car seats, clothing, and diapers for women who need help meeting the needs of their children.
Let’s put Mary in modern times. Now, abortion is available nearly anywhere. Not to say that women didn’t find means of abortion their children then, because they did. What if Mary got scared by what she was doing and decided she didn’t want to go through with it anymore? Baby Jesus was the single most important person in human history. What if Mary could have aborted him?
We need to consider the person and the future of that person when we think about choosing life. Who are these unborn children, and who will they become? We never know, do we? We can’t peer into the future, but we can learn from the pasts of the famous people we know now and see that their beginnings did not determine their future. Baby Jesus was born in a stable surrounded by smelly animals. Yet, he became the savior of the world.
How many famous people had their starts in desperately poor circumstances? Many notable people were born of immigrants who didn’t speak English and worked two or three jobs to provide for their families. Nevertheless, their child grew up to be a great contributor to society. Who is your unborn child? What is he or she destined to become, despite the circumstances his or her mother finds herself in now?
If you are pregnant and considering whether or not choosing life is right for you, contact us today for a free consultation.
December 9, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Mary and Joseph were planning a wedding. Like most couples, there was plenty to be excited about. Wedding celebrations lasted for days on end in their tradition. Everyone was involved when someone got married in a village like Nazareth. That is important to realize when you think of the Christmas story. In these times, women face unplanned pregnancies all the time, and hardly a soul in their neighborhood knows about it, never mind the whole town. Suffice it to say that Mary’s announcement to Joseph about being pregnant would have certainly been news to him. She was a virgin. What Joseph teaches us about Mary’s unplanned pregnancy is still relevant today. Not just in the Christmas season, but all year long.
Joseph is a part of the Christmas story that is often overlooked. Granted, he doesn’t get much airtime in the story, compared to Mary and Jesus, but what it has to say about him is certainly a lot. What did Joseph do that is relatable in today’s times? Let’s look at what Joseph teaches us about Mary’s unplanned pregnancy.
It is easy to think that the people in the Bible were somehow superhuman or were so good that God chose to mention them in His Word. But a closer look at most characters in the Bible reveals their humanity, warts and all.
When we typically characterize men facing an unplanned pregnancy, it is easy to villainize them when they react negatively. Joseph had a very typical reaction to Mary’s unplanned pregnancy.
Mary had a difficult job of telling her fiancé that she was pregnant. It would have been inconvenient enough if it was biologically his child, but we know from the Christmas story that it wasn’t. In those times, Mary should have been stoned to death for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. This was a serious offense in Jewish religious law. Just revealing the pregnancy put Mary in danger. So you can understand the stress involved in letting Joseph in on the news.
Joseph took the news in and initially rejected it. He wanted no part of this. A good number of men facing an unplanned pregnancy react this way, especially if they do not think they are the father. Joseph considered undoing his wedding plans with Mary. Granted, he wanted to do it quietly, but the only solution from his vantage point was walking away. Thankfully, God interrupted his plans. He became convinced by an angel of the LORD to stay the course. The rest, as they say, is history.
Many men facing an unplanned pregnancy are confused and shocked by the news that they are fathers. Being told you are a father when you were not planning on it causes men to do lots of things, even thinking that running away from it will solve their problems. Joseph thought the same thing. But his decision did not negate Mary’s pregnancy. She was still going to carry this child to term in the face of judgment and shame. Jesus was still going to be born, and Joseph would have missed out on being part of the greatest part in history the world has ever known.
Joseph was interrupted in his plans. Mary’s unplanned pregnancy was not initially welcomed by him at all. Maybe you know such a man right now who is dealing with the same thing. A man reacting to an unplanned pregnancy this way isn’t a bad person. He is a scared one. Just like Joseph, his plans need to be interrupted so that he can see the possibilities instead of the challenges.
ABC Women’s Center is for the man facing an unplanned pregnancy also. We are here for the whole family as this is a family affair. Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and the feelings that come along with it is not just for mom to deal with. Dad has feelings about this too. He has dreams that are also being interrupted, and just like mom, we want to help dad with this new role as well. If you are a man facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to talk to someone about how to navigate this new place in your life, contact us today. We’ll be glad to connect you with a man who would love to help.
December 2, 2021By Brittany Paladino
The holiday season is a beautiful time of year for a lot of us. The lights, the music, and all the holiday foods are plenty of reasons to celebrate. But that doesn’t mean that celebrating the season doesn’t come with some challenges. There are lots of emotional triggers during the holidays that can cause many to replace joy with anxiety before you can say, “Merry Christmas.” So how can we focus on the wonders of the season without becoming awash in anxiety and depression? There are ways to manage emotional triggers during the holidays that can make this time of year more enjoyable and maybe even help to improve emotional health overall.
How do you feel when you think of the holiday season? What emotions start to surface when you think of the weeks ahead? Are you in great expectation or becoming filled with dread?
Not everyone looks forward to celebrating the holiday season with their families. Others do not have a family to celebrate with at all. These are only two reasons that many experience emotional triggers during the holidays. So what can we all do to minimize emotional upheaval so we can enjoy this season? Who couldn’t do with some more joy in their lives?
There is a misconception about emotions not being able to be controlled. This is simply not true. We are not designed to respond to the whim of our emotions. But if you do not understand how to manage them, it can certainly feel like they are the thing in control of your life.
There are a few easy things we can do to put our emotions in the proper place when it comes to the holidays. Using these suggestions will prove to make your holidays more joyous and less stressful.
Know Who To Limit – There are just going to be family members that are not healthy to spend too much time with. Everyone has that one person in their lives that does not put us in a good place for one reason or another. Knowing who those people are and limiting how much time you spend interacting with them will help you better manage those emotional triggers during the holidays.
Have A Plan Of Action – The next step in managing the people you need to limit time with has something in place that helps you govern what to do when you have reached your healthy emotional limit with certain people. What will you do? Will you take a break by getting some time alone to decompress? Will you leave them where the social interaction is happening to avoid emotional upheaval? Going into social situations with a plan in place of what to do when you have reached your limit will help you feel more relaxed before anything gets triggered in the first place.
What Adds To The Stress- While we cannot always totally avoid the people that trigger us, we can undoubtedly add to our stress and increase the likelihood of emotional difficulties. The number one contributor to this is alcohol. Many find themselves overindulging in alcohol during the holidays as a means of mitigating emotional stress when it adds to it instead. When we introduce alcohol and drugs into emotional situations, we become skewed by them. We stop thinking clearly when we put mind-altering substances into our bodies. If you want to feel better during the holidays, it is best to avoid the substances that can cause more issues than they will fix.
Getting Honest With Yourself- Sometimes, it is not the situation around us, but what is going on internally makes emotional triggers during the holidays worse. External stressors in our lives such as unemployment, relationship issues, unexpected life changes, and other uncertainties can make the current stressors feel so much harder than they usually are. Having the presence of mind to admit that things are not all good right now will help you be gentler on yourself and others. It’s okay not to be okay during the holidays. Admitting that helps make it better.
There is something to be said to have a safe space to talk through your emotional triggers during the holidays. Sometimes it is a good friend, other times; it could be a trusted member of your clergy who can offer clarity. No matter which of those you choose, make sure that person can be charged to keep your confidence and add solutions to your problems rather than add to them.
Many single women worry about providing well for their children during the holidays. Food insecurities and lack of finances for children’s gifts can cause many emotional triggers during the holidays for single moms. If you are a single mother in need of resources over the holidays, you can reach out to ABC Women’s Center for information on what agencies help meet these needs during the holidays. If an unexpected pregnancy is adding to your stress this holiday, reach out for guidance today.
November 11, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Life can turn on a dime. Many of us are well aware of that fact. There isn’t much worse than looking forward to the future, only to look down and realize that life has put a block in your path. When life changes your plans, there is a waterfall of emotions that follow. While wading through the river of emotions may keep you busy, they are not helping you make corrections to move forward in a new direction. Getting swept up in emotions when life changes your plans will surely drown you in fear rather than help you get your bearings.
Many people have been there before. If you feel like life has unfairly upended your plans for the future, know that you are not alone. Yet many people have faced great adversity, only to come out better than they were before. They will be quick to tell you that not only did they get through the drama of when life changes your plans, but they are also actually grateful for the interruption! Does this sound too good to be true? What ends up happening when life gets interrupted has to do with how you deal with it. No one likes change, but change is easier when you take the right approach.
If there is one thing that is universally true of all people it is this: Everyone goes through more than one major change in their life. If you are going through a change, breathe deeply. You will face a dramatic turn in life again one day in the future. Maybe that is not too comforting, but it is true. That is why it is valuable to understand what to do when life changes your plans.
Embrace Acceptance – Since life changes are not going away any time soon, we might as well embrace the change. What is the alternative anyway? The first step is to accept what is. You might not like what changes are in your life, but denying them or wallowing in despair is not going to yield anything positive.
Gather Facts – The second thing you must do when life changes your plans is getting busy getting all your facts in order. Life changes tend to keep us stuck in fear if we want to build worst-case scenarios rather than gather all the facts that help us make a good decision. Don’t paint awful pictures in your mind. Start making lists of all the facts and factors that go into dealing with a life change.
Find A Trusted Person – The second part of acceptance is telling someone what you are accepting. It is easy to deny the truth if we are afraid to tell someone. What matters is who you trust to tell. A trusted person to talk to is someone who can listen objectively to what life changes have come your way and help you process the facts about your life change so you can decide what steps to take next. Most of the time, it is better if this person does not know you. People close to us tend to either project themselves onto your situation, or they will tell you what they think you want to hear. An unbiased source who has experience in what you are doing with is the better person to trust.
Own Your Choice – Once you have followed all the steps, it is now time to make a decision and confidently own the decision that you made. This is why finding a trusted person is so important. No matter what choice you make, it is yours to make. Therefore, you must be able to say to yourself and others, “This is my choice, and here is why.” Feeling pressured by others who have a stake in your decision brings about confusion and doubt later. No one wants to regret a decision later, thinking that someone else made it for you. You might find out later that if you had other information that you would have made a better choice. It does you no good to apply new knowledge to an old choice. Own your story and move on.
Making a choice regarding a pregnancy when life changes your plans regarding family planning is a big decision. We want to help you by being that trusted person to talk to regarding the facts about your situation. If you have questions about parenting, abortion, or even if you are not sure if you are pregnant, contact us today for a free, confidential conversation.
October 18, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Pregnancy resource centers have been around for decades. And while this life-saving work has been in the trenches for so long, the way they help women who are dealing with an unintended pregnancy has changed significantly. A good portion of pregnancy resource centers offer ultrasounds, and some even offer healthcare services. This change in help has impacted how we see help from pregnancy resource centers. It has also changed how Planned Parenthood and the like deal with their opposition to what they sell as healthcare.
With more help from pregnancy resource centers comes challenges. More help means more money is needed to meet demanding budgets and increased salaries for skilled workers. In a simpler time, all that was needed was durable goods for babies and expectant mothers. Now, specialized services help and bring increased considerations all at the same time.
Pregnancy resource centers seem to always be promoting fundraisers to meet the demands of their work. Many donors and partners are left asking themselves, “Is all this working?” Donors and partners want to know not just that their money is going to a good cause, but why their money is causing good to happen. What is coming out of all of this? Are pregnancy resource centers working in the fight for life?
It is one thing to say, “We are making an impact.” The question posed to that statement should be, “Can you prove it?” What can we point to that shows that pregnancy resource centers are making a positive impact on their communities?
Numbers never lie. Pregnancy resource centers bear the tedious burden of showing the numbers to prove to their donors and partners that their work is making a difference. Lives saved and moms supported equal money well spent to a donor. That is where the numbers come in. The numbers should look like this:
These are all important considerations that help donors and partners understand the impact that pregnancy resource centers have on their communities and the lives of those to be born into those communities. It also lets the Board of Directors know what needs to be looked at if the numbers are not meeting the industry averages published by organizations like Heartbeat International and CareNet.
What is the greatest indicator of success for pregnancy resource centers? The testimonials from their patients. What better way to measure success than to include the feedback from past patients and current clients? While the anti-abortion movement continues to throw shade on the work done at pregnancy resource centers, the women pregnancy resource centers serve largely disagree with their position. How do you measure the value of a story told by a mother who had an appointment at an abortion clinic but chose life after meeting with pregnancy resource center workers while she holds her young child close to her?
Women choose life when they understand that fear of the future is not a reason to have an abortion. We always awfulize things when we worry about them. Most of our fears about the future never come to pass. Helping these frightened women understand that fear does not equal outcome makes the most impact on helping them choose life.
What makes pregnancy resource centers work so well? They take the time. It takes time to get someone out of panic mode so they can logically deal with their situation. It takes time to listen to fears and uncertainty to know how to help someone. It takes time to continue to meet with women choosing life so they can keep choosing life, even when no one is supporting them in their family, and they are worried about paying the bills. Time well spent, plus money well used equals a fruitful life for the women who choose life and their children.
There are no pregnancy resource centers if you do not get involved with your time, talent, and financial resources. Real money is needed to meet the budgets that keep these vital organizations open. If you would like to partner with a pregnancy resource center like ABC Women’s Center, contact us today to find out how you can get involved. Pregnancy resource centers are working because of people like you.
October 7, 2021By Brittany Paladino
When people think about abortion rights, they are never considering abortion survivors as part of the conversation. Yes, there are people who have survived their mother’s attempt to abort them. That is the inconvenient part of the abortion argument that no one likes talking about. What would you do if the child you were attempting to abort survived the abortion? It is that scenario that can change everything. It is always the one thing you didn’t count on that can shake the foundations of what you believe.
Why should we consider this? Are abortion survivors a thing? They are, and we need to listen to them. Abortion rights are usually focused on the woman and her ability to choose to have an abortion if she wants to. But the person who survives an abortion sees abortion rights from a completely different perspective for obvious reasons.
Baby Roe of the famed Roe Vs. Wade landmark case deciding abortion rights in America has been speaking out lately. She has spent a long time trying to avoid the spotlight that her biological mother’s case has tried to catch her in. Now she is ready. Jane Roe (Norma McCorvey) is deceased now. Her thoughts on such matters are memorialized in her book, Won By Love.
Melissa Ohden is a familiar name in Pro-Life circles. You would know her from the commercial that aired, highlighting her story as a baby who survived her biological mother’s saline abortion. There was much ado made about this commercial, positive and negative, but one thing it did do was force America to confront the truth of abortion survivors and what that should mean for abortion rights.
Not surprisingly, NARAL and abortion providers like Planned Parenthood have done a lot to try and squeeze the abortion survivors’ voices from the conversation on abortion rights. But trying to expand abortion rights to include all terms of abortion creates a conundrum for the likes of these organizations; the longer the gestation, the more likely abortion survivors become. In short, we have to face this truth as part of the conversation on abortion rights.
What are the rights that abortion survivors should have if they survive a procedure designed to take their lives? That should be a pretty obvious answer, although Pro-Abortion organizations like to pretend that the answer is not an easy one to find. It is this controversy that needs greater conversation among Pro-Life organizations. We can do more to advance the voice of abortion survivors, shedding light on this truth. If late-term and full-term abortion is on the horizon more so than it is already, then Pro-Life groups must propel the voice of abortion survivors into the conversation.
Pro-Lifers must get actively involved in bringing the story of abortion survivors to the forefront of the Pro-Life conversation. We must stop pretending this scenario doesn’t exist. The ones that have survived one are eager to tell you they deserve a say when it comes to abortion rights.
Where does this conversation leave Baby Roe? While she remains steadfast in concealing what her position is on Pro-Life issues, she does reveal a few things in her recent interviews:
Yes, people survive abortions, and they also have feelings toward the women who attempted to abort them. This is another inconvenient truth that must be discussed as part of the abortion decision, “If your child survives your abortion, how will you handle that?”
Pregnancy resource centers like ABC Women’s Center are here to help women talk through all the aspects of abortion before they have one. Maybe you didn’t consider that your child would survive your abortion. What will you do if he or she lives? Let’s talk about your decision before you are sure abortion is right for you. Contact us today for a consultation.
September 30, 2021By Brittany Paladino
If you type “abortion law” in your Internet search bar, you will find an avalanche of news reports on states either outlawing all abortions or states passing the most radical abortion laws ever recorded in history. At any one time, the unborn are either never so at risk for death at any stage of gestation, or never so safe from harm. Or are they? As the Pro-life nation, many of us are waiting to see what shakes out on the legal front to know what to do next when it comes to abortion laws in their state. It would be nice to assume that waiting for the supreme court to ban abortions would somehow make abortions magically go away. Abortions were a thing before they were ruled on by the supreme court and they likely will afterward. It is in knowing what you are dealing with in the first place that helps you understand why we can’t wait for the supreme court to ban abortions.
The reason that abortions are even something to think about is what the Pro-life movement is dealing with. The single most pervasive misconception for those who consider themselves anti-abortion is that the woman facing an unplanned pregnancy needs to understand they are carrying a baby. Hear this now; in this day and age, women are not confused by what is happening to their bodies. They know they are carrying a life inside them. What we are combatting is the reasons they value their life over the one in their womb.
Maybe the Supreme Court of the United States will decide on Roe V. Wade that reverses the decision. Even if that is so, it seems to be a ways off. While we wait, what can we do today to save the lives of the unborn?
What are the reasons that women are choosing abortion today if they know they are carrying a baby? There are quite a few, but most of them are self-driven. Being able to reach women contemplating or planning to have an abortion need intervention. Reaching women to have conversations about why they are choosing abortion, and what can be done to overcome the personal challenges they, have takes a lot of effort.
Planned Parenthood is a household name. It’s also an International brand. When women are searching for an abortion solution, they are typing in their name. Pregnancy resource centers need the finances and the skillsets to intervene in women searching online for abortion solutions. Planned Parenthood spends millions of dollars each year for marketing efforts, especially those efforts designed to direct online traffic away from pregnancy resource centers to their resources instead.
Your local pregnancy resource center is trying to redirect abortion-minded women to their solution with pennies on the dollar to spend compared to Planned Parenthood. While we wait for the Supreme Court to ban abortions, your pregnancy resource center needs money to compete with marketing efforts and the finances to hire people qualified to help them do that.
Your pregnancy resource center is always going to need diapers, wipes, and other baby items for the women who utilize their resources in the parenting phase of parenthood. But what they need is money for marketing and resources for women in the gestation phase of parenthood. Much is required to serve women during their pregnancy, more so than when they give birth.
How can you help women in the gestation phase of motherhood? Would you be willing to direct some of the money you use for other non-profit causes to your local pregnancy center? Would you be willing to give up just one cup of coffee at Starbucks a week and dedicate that to your local pregnancy resource center every month? Contact us today to find out more about being a financial partner.
October 21, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Being a mom for the first time is exhilarating. There are so many things to experience. But nine months is a long time. During your pregnancy, there are plenty of things to think about. For those who have never been a parent before, the excitement can give way to anxiety pretty easily. How do you mentally prepare to be a mom? What can be done so those new days of holding your newborn baby in your arms are filled with more confidence in your role?
You can read all the magazines, subscribe to every parenting website and you still won’t have every piece of information you need to handle everything that comes your way when it comes to being a new mom. But plenty of us have tried! It seems that the more information you try to take in, the more anxiety it produces. With every new technique mentioned on the internet on how to properly raise a newborn, comes other things to worry about. How do you wade through it all without becoming lost in despair?
If you comb the baby stores looking for things to buy for baby, you can become wrapped in the marketing trap of thinking you need everything they are offering you. Suffice it to say that not everything they sell for a baby is what you need to raise one. There are plenty of things that don’t need to be on your baby shopping list, no matter how convenient they look.
Some baby items are not only unnecessary but expensive. Just because something for a baby is expensive doesn’t mean it is better or something you need to have. Part of trying to mentally prepare for being a mom involves being practical about what you need and letting go of what either doesn’t meet your budget or isn’t needed. Most moms find out that they don’t need that $1,000 stroller to walk their baby through the park. There are plenty of budget-friendly strollers that work just fine.
You also don’t need to spend a lot of money on maternity clothes to get through your pregnancy in stylish comfort. Walmart has some great choices that are easy on the wallet. The expensive maternity stores have the same quality but with a bigger price point. It’s also important to avoid buying all the maternity clothes at one time. Bellies grow. Buy a few things at each stage, so you are not growing out of things and having to buy a new wardrobe all over again. You can use that money to buy cute clothes for the baby instead (who will also grow out of everything way too fast).
There is practically preparing and emotionally preparing to be a new mom. While it is good for you to eat right for yourself and your growing baby, being emotionally healthy is just as important. Pregnant moms have rapidly changing hormones that contribute to mood swings and feelings of anxiety. Being able to mentally prepare to be a mom means you need to take good care of your emotional state in the process. To do that, you must be intentional about protecting your inner peace. Eliminating the stress factors as much as possible is useful in keeping calm and grounded during your pregnancy. Work is one thing you probably can’t avoid, but you can communicate to your boss about what unnecessary stressors may have to be limited so you can do your job during your pregnancy. Make a list of the things that stress you out and ask yourself what would make them less stressful. You might find there are things in your life that have to be managed or avoided to feel emotionally healthier during your pregnancy.
There will always be questions that arise when you are pregnant that need answering to feel better about yourself. That is when your neighborhood pregnancy resource center becomes a trusted partner in helping you mentally prepare to be a mom. They have inside information on services and programs that will help you seamlessly transition from pregnant mom to mother of a newborn. Pregnancy resource centers like ABC Women’s Center also provide some needed items for new babies through toddler years. If you would like to know more about how a pregnancy resource center can help you mentally prepare to be a mom, contact us today for a consultation.
September 23, 2021By Brittany Paladino
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, coming to terms with the fact that you have to start telling the people closest to you that you are pregnant can be overwhelming. Many are still trying to coming to grips with the news themselves, never mind help someone else get it. One hundred percent of the women facing an unplanned pregnancy were not planning on becoming mothers at this stage of their lives. It’s the sudden interruption of life as usual that gets them all. But no one is ever pregnant alone. Chances are, the father of your baby wasn’t looking to be a dad right now either. These realities are hard to swallow, causing many women facing unplanned pregnancies to delay telling the people closest to them. Telling your unsuspecting loved ones that you want to parent your child is anxiety-producing. Many of us who have walked that road pre-supposed what our loved ones would say. How do you be confident in your decision to parent your unborn child when you anticipate friction with the people impacted by your choice?
One thing is for sure, you never really know how someone will react ahead of time. You can guess what they would say, you can play the different scenarios out in your mind, but until you say it and let it hang in the air until they take your news in, you’ll never be sure of what they will say. Plenty of women who have faced unplanned pregnancies were stunned by how well their loved ones took the news. Trying to figure out how someone will react will not help you be confident in your decision to parent your unborn child. Putting it off will make you more anxious and arouse suspicion from your family members about what is going on with you.
Women feel more confident when they know what the plan for success is. Trying to explain to someone why you want to parent your unborn child when the only answer to your questions is, “I don’t know” isn’t going to help you or them feel better. Having a plan for success will help you feel more confident in your decision to parent and help your loved ones understand that you have thought this through.
There are considerations to take into account when you are planning how to parent your unborn child. What are your options for housing? Can you live in the place where you are now? What can you do to secure safe housing for yourself and your child if you can’t? Don’t panic if you don’t feel good about where you live now. There are options for homeless women or in unsafe homes for a baby to live in.
How will you support yourself and your baby? That plan may include state and non-profit services. You don’t have to feel ashamed about that. Your plans to include help from agencies designed to help you be confident in your decision to parent your unborn child means you are making the right choices, so you both have what you need to be healthy and safe.
Once you have your plan in place, now it is time for talking to those who need to know you are expecting. This may be the hardest part of all, but having a plan will help you be confident in your conversations with others. Your plans may have to include parenting without the baby’s father. This is a challenging reality that some women must face. Sometimes the baby’s father reacts negatively to the pregnancy only to have a change of heart once the news settles with him. Even so, your ability to parent this child is not less diminished if he doesn’t want to participate. This is about you being confident in your decision to parent your unborn child. Acceptance of this decision from other people is not necessary to carry out your plan.
You don’t have to plan out how to parent your unborn child alone. You can have trusted allies around you who have walked this road before. The men and women who work at pregnancy care centers have a lot of experience helping women obtain the help they need to parent their unborn children. They also will help with gaining confidence in discussing your plans with your loved ones. If you would like help being confident in your decision to parent your unborn child, contact us today to set up a time to talk.
September 9, 2021By Brittany Paladino
You couldn’t imagine a worse time in my life to find out I was pregnant. I had just buried my first husband nearly 7 months ago. I had found myself in a whirlwind long-distance relationship as a means of distraction from my pain. He, on the other hand, was looking for a lonely woman with the means to ask for money to support his life of leisure. I, the unsuspecting mark, fell for the ploy hook, line, and sinker. In hindsight, I knew this and didn’t care. I wanted desperately to stop the raging pain in my heart. Suffice it to say, when the pregnancy test revealed my worst nightmare, I wasn’t prepared to welcome another child into my life. I had a 3-year-old and a demanding job. I didn’t need this. Besides, what would my dead husband’s friends and family think? I wanted out of this corner I painted myself into. As a Pro-life speaker, no one likes the part of my story where I say I wanted to consider abortion for my unborn child. No matter how hard it is on the ears, it is true.
I think it is rare to find a woman going through an unplanned pregnancy who did not at least give abortion a passing thought. You have to admit, what Planned Parenthood is selling is pretty easy to digest if you buy into the idea that abortion erases mistakes and all you need is an appointment to make this oopsie go away. Like most marketing campaigns, it is full of ideals and absent of reality.
What was it like to go through this process? I’d love to tell you.
In the early stages of an unplanned pregnancy, you go through a series of events. The first event that takes place is holding the pregnancy test in your hands and dissecting every line and stain on the test results. Is it really positive? Are those lines really dark enough? Maybe it is wrong. It can’t be right.
Next, you realize that the test is correct, and you accept the results you can see, clear as day, in your hands. This ushers in total panic. You start sweating. Maybe you feel a little nauseous. What do you do now?
A lot of women follow panic up with denial. This isn’t happening. Ok, even if it is happening, a lot of women have miscarriages. Maybe this isn’t going to be something you have to deal with. I am sorry for the women who have lost children through miscarriage. It is sad to say that a part of denial is hoping for what you have endured. You have to understand, panic overthrows logic, and rational thought becomes a distant memory in these moments. The hope is that no one will ever have to know about this.
This process is obsessive and maddening. It drives women to sleepless nights, being hopelessly distracted, and lacking appetite. It is in these times that the question comes to mind, “Should I consider abortion for my unborn child?”
Once that question gets asked, all of the reasons you cannot possibly parent this child come to mind. I have _______ going on in my life right now. I can’t do this. There is always someone who comes to mind who will greatly object to you carrying this child to term. Many women fear they will be left homeless if they decide to parent, or will lose their relationship. The fear starts to build a wall to prevent you from having to think about a real person on the other side of this decision. No one likes to think about that. But self-preservation can cloud the mind, leaving the unborn child helpless against a mother in fear of her future.
With all this going on, saying no to abortion was hopeless, right? Actually, no. I am happy to say that even though I tried to consider abortion for my unborn child, I knew that even if God was the only one who knew about it, I couldn’t bear it. I did what the only other thing I could do
; I chose adoption for her. It was a long journey from early pregnancy to placing my child in the arms of another woman. The pain was difficult, but I knew it was best for us both. I have the joys of knowing that I have a good relationship with her and her family, even if we only talk about twice a year. I’ll never wonder who she might have been. That would never be a possibility if I followed through on my thought to consider abortion for my unborn child.
Do you want to talk about if abortion is your only option? Contact us today for a free, confidential, and no-obligation consultation.
September 9, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Faith-based non-profits are usually making things happen without state and federal funds. This is because they refuse to remove the faith base from how they help women who are contemplating abortion for their unborn children. While plenty of faith-based people support pro-life organizations, there are fewer of them who give regularly. All of us in the pro-life arena need to do what we can. That includes the need to support your local pregnancy center. How can one give to these life-saving places if you don’t have the extra finances to do so? There are some great ways to support your local pregnancy center without spending a dime.
There are many things that your local pregnancy center does besides free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds. Tangible items are in great need for mothers near delivery or who need support to help with the costs of parenting a new baby. Even free stuff isn’t free. Someone has to pay for it.
One of the easiest ways to support your local pregnancy center without making one dime’s worth of investment yourself is to organize a fundraiser. This is the best way for someone with contacts but not a lot of cash to make a big donation to anything. You have all the tools you need right at your fingertips to make it happen. With just a few pushes of buttons on your phone, you can have an award-winning fundraiser to support your local pregnancy center in no time flat.
Start A Facebook Fundraiser – Most non-profits have their Facebook pages set up to solicit donations online. This creates an opportunity for you to start your fundraiser online and send donations directly to your local pregnancy center. All you have to do is start one! Facebook makes it super easy to do. Go to Create A Post on Facebook. Facebook has a long menu of things you can do to add to your new post. Find Raise Money on the menu. Click on it. Facebook will tell you all you need to know about how to make your fundraiser post live. If your local pregnancy center doesn’t have Facebook fundraiser capabilities, find out how they solicit donations online and make that link live in your post instead. You don’t have to spend any money, just take the 5 minutes you need to set it up!
Set Up A Fundraiser With Your Church – If you have the heart to support your local pregnancy center but are low on funds, you can have a fundraiser at your church! Work with your local pregnancy center to find out how they can help you do a fundraiser by involving your church. Your local pregnancy center will have a new church contact to partner with, and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you helped raise a lot of support for a great cause, without having to spend anything but your time.
Make Your Birthday Party A Fundraiser – Having a birthday party soon? Why not make it a fundraiser? You can let your party guests know that instead of gifts, they can bring donation items like diapers, wipes, or baby clothes for you to donate to your local pregnancy center. Your guests will feel good about supporting a good cause, and you can feel great about forgoing gifts you don’t need and provide tangible items to new mothers who could use your support instead. What better way to celebrate your birth than to help out with someone else’s?
If you don’t want to do a fundraiser, how about just sharing social posts from your local pregnancy center to raise awareness for them? Most local pregnancy centers could use the help with spreading the word about what they do. You can help them have a greater impact in your community by sharing needs and fundraising events they post on your social media accounts. There is no monetary investment needed, and you will do a lot to help those in need by sharing social posts from your local pregnancy center.
There is a lot that you can do to support your local pregnancy center without spending a dime. All you need is a few minutes to spare to choose any one of these suggestions. Feel good about your pro-life position by standing tall to help support your local pregnancy center, even if you can’t donate yourself. Partner with your local center today.
It might seem that offering tangible goods and resources to a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy would be enough. You would be wrong. Not all women choose abortion for financial reasons, so offering financial help and things for the baby is the right response all the time. For the pregnancy center worker who is listening to her client, it is best to offer the things she says challenge her ability to choose to parent.
We can make a big difference in helping women seeking an abortion if we do that one thing she needs us to do; open our ears and our hearts to her.
August 12, 2021By Brittany Paladino
The last two years have certainly been the time in U.S. history where we have seen a lot of action in terms of anti-abortion laws. Never have I recalled such a volley of laws aimed at curbing and opening up abortion access before. As much as the Pro-life movement advances in some states, they are becoming horrifyingly silenced in others. While all of this goes on, what is making the difference to reduce abortion rates? Is all of this legal bluster making a difference in the lives of those who need help?
Some would say that eliminating access to abortion decreases the numbers, but the data is not necessarily bearing that out. The way to reduce abortion rates is more complicated than eliminating access. Abortion was illegal at one point in the country, and plenty of women managed to find a way to get one accomplished anyhow.
While it is true, the abortion rate in the United States overall is down. There is data on both sides that report that truth for different reasons. The data points on both sides make the actual reason they give incongruous with one another.
What does help to reduce abortion rates, according to Planned Parenthood? Contraception. They site better education around contraception is the reason that abortion rates in the U.S. are down. This is interesting because almost 50% of women report using some form of birth control during the month they became pregnant.
There has also been the thought that the ban of partial-birth abortions and the limitation of time to get an abortion would reduce abortion rates. What the data is showing is that it is an inconclusive assertion, as these numbers could be linked to women getting an abortion sooner rather than later. Legislation of this kind is not harmful. It just may not be achieving the kind of results its authors intended.
Informed consent laws are certainly great. Patients who are intending to go through with an abortion need to know the risks. They should also go home and sleep on their decision once they become aware of those risks. Mississippi has such a law, and they claim every encouraging data to support the fact that informed consent laws deter abortion-minded women from having one. What we don’t understand is how well that data has translated to other kinds of laws like it in other states. Pro-Life groups have anecdotal data from pregnancy centers with ultrasound services, but there is nothing solid to determine the effectiveness of informed consent laws in general.
Don’t be dismayed by the conflict of information around how to reduce abortion rates. We do know what does work in helping a mother choose life. Every day, men and women go to work in local pregnancy resource centers to help the women that come through their doors. The centers they work at provide life-encouraging information and sometimes medical services to help parents choose life for their unborn child.
Finding yourself pregnant when you didn’t want to be is scary and confusing. There are so many unknowns. Homelessness, addiction, legal issues, lack of support, and finances are just some of the reasons women who come to these centers have for being unsure if choosing life for their child is right for them.
What pregnancy resources centers offer is information to help parents see the clear path to confidently choosing life. They are there to lend an ear and share the successful experiences of present and past clients who have chosen life and been so grateful for it. What can we do to reduce abortion rates in the U.S.? We can offer support and answers to their questions that make a difference between choosing life for death.
Some of the simplest ways to help are the ones we overlook. When you care about an issue, you can sometimes delay helping by wondering how you can help in a big way. Maybe the answer is to help in a small way until you find a bigger way to help? Pregnancy resource centers need emergency items like formula, diapers, car seats, and cribs for the women coming to them for services. Could you be the one who provides one or more of these ongoing needs, even for just one month? How about committing as a family to buy one crib a year to donate to your local pregnancy center.
How much does a package of diapers cost? Could you donate that amount of money every month to your local pregnancy center? Don’t let trying to help big prevent you from helping with all the little needs that add up to a lot of money going out from your local pregnancy center every month. Contact us today to discuss some little ways you can help out now, and leave room in your heart for making a bigger impact when the opportunity arises.
August 5, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Changes to the budget are coming from the U.S. House this year, and it may be the kind of changes you don’t like. The Hyde Amendment has been a long-standing pro-life bill that prevents U.S. taxpayers from having to pay for abortions they do not believe should be funded by the taxpaying citizens of America. This goes along with other pro-life legislation that is being ignored by the U.S. House to pave the way for tax-funding for elective abortions and forcing U.S. employers to cover abortions as part of their health insurance coverage, even if it goes against their conscience to do so.
This issue has been argued many times before. Pro-lifers, in general, are against any Federal tax monies that would be earmarked for elective abortions, or any other kind of abortions. Many have argued the points, from both sides of the aisle. No matter how you classify yourself, the majority of Americans do not want to fund elective abortions, whether they call themselves pro-choice or not. When it comes down to it, Americans might like the idea of choice, but when it comes to paying for it, they’d rather leave that up to the one deciding the future of their unborn baby to pay for it.
Even if this is not the cause for you to ruffle your feathers over, there is still plenty of reasons why you should care about the Hyde Amendment. We’ll cover a few and let you decide if this is something you want to call your state representative over.
Before anyone gets their knickers in a knot over whether or not this means that pro-lifers are trying to get in the way of women having elective abortions by opposing this, the Hyde Amendment had been funded to provide pro-life relief to the women who need it since 1976. Meaning, abortion services and how they are paid for at the Federal level has been the way that it is for nearly 50 years!
Planned Parenthood alone reported 63.2 Million in revenue last year. Seems they are doing just fine finding the money to end the lives of unborn children without Federal tax dollars. No one is doing without because the Hyde Amendment has been funded. But to the women who rely on the Hyde Amendment funding to support them during their pregnancies, this is a huge blow to organizations that rely on their funding to help vulnerable women and their children.
Speaking on ” The Walk Humbly Podcast” July 29 ahead of the vote, Bishop Michael F. Burbidge decried the legislation’s potential harm. Repealing the Hyde amendment would represent “One of the most crushing losses since Roe versus Wade.”The Arlington Catholic Herald
If we care about supporting vulnerable women and their children, no matter who you vote for, then the Hyde Amendment is something you should care about. Being pro-choice means supporting her choice, no matter what choice she makes. That means pro-choice groups should wholeheartedly want to see pro-life groups who support vulnerable women and their children funded, right? What choice is there if we are only funding one choice as a country?
The Hyde Amendment is not a conservative Republican measure. For nearly five decades, it was supported by both sides of the House. This is not a partisan bill that is being forced on anyone. It has been largely supported on all fronts until now.
One must ask themselves why a bill that had bipartisan support for this long is now suddenly not the right move for the U.S. House? Why does the House feel as though it cannot be funded by Federal tax dollars anymore? Voters who do not support federal funding for elective abortions must ask themselves the deeper question here. What was funding it hurting anyone?
The Hyde Amendment is not a funnel of taxpayer dollars to pro-life groups. Most pregnancy care centers are self-funded because they are also faith-based. Faith-based groups, for the most part, cannot accept tax dollars because they identify as faith-based organizations. The idea that the Hyde Amendment was paying for faith-based groups to campaign against pro-abortion ideals is a falsehood.
Pregnancy care centers work very hard to fundraise all year, so they can cover the expenses of providing these kinds of services to vulnerable women and their families. Why shouldn’t Planned Parenthood do the same? Most pregnancy care centers do not charge for their services to the women who seek their help. With millions of dollars in funding for marketing and fundraising, it seems that Planned Parenthood could do the same handily. Why do they need taxpayer dollars?
ABC Womens’ Center is a family support center for vulnerable women and their families. If you would like to find out more about what we do and how you can support ABC in providing free care and services to women in Connecticut, contact us today for more information about becoming a donor.
July 30, 2021By Brittany Paladino
No mother wants to be told the child she is carrying will be likely be born with a disability. When we envision parenthood, we are not typically lulled by scenarios of children in wheelchairs or intellectual challenges. For many parents, this is reality. This week is the 31st anniversary of the ADA. Our sitting president is committing to recommit to the ADA to make America ever more accessible to everyone. What about a baby with disabilities? The decision to choose life for a baby with disabilities gets harder by the day. With so many doctors encouraging parents to abort children with disabilities, where do they turn for support in choosing life?
The decision to choose life for a baby with disabilities is a lot easier than it was two decades ago. There are several reasons why welcoming a child into your family with a disability is not the heavy burden you might think it is. Are there challenges in raising a child with disabilities? Yes. Is it a challenge that is not worth taking on? Wholeheartedly, no.
Once parents get over the initial shock of a diagnosis in the womb, there are many considerations when you choose life for a baby with disabilities. Depending on the severity of the disability, accommodations may have to be thought about before the baby arrives. How parents can find support in deciding to raise a child with disabilities is easier than ever before. Once the proper supports are in place, the accommodation considerations get a lot easier.
Finding Parents Who Can Support You – Hard roads get a lot easier to walk down when you find people who have walked down them before. For this reason, finding peer support is so critical to helping parents choose life for a baby with disabilities. The Internet has provided many ways for parents who are preparing to raise a child with a disability to find the support they need to do so confidently. Online support groups, podcasts, Facebook groups, and websites are available to parents facing almost any disability. There is so much fear in the unknown. Parents who reach out to their peers for support find that this challenge is not impossible at all. These parents know what questions to ask, what places are good for help and what ones aren’t. The ins and outs of Medicaid and Medicare, and which hospitals are best for which specialties for your child. The amount of valuable information peer groups is vast. Not to mention, they make for a strong shoulder to cry on when you want someone to show that they care.
Ask The Right Questions Of Medical Professionals – If you are not feeling supported in choosing life for a baby with disabilities, maybe it is time to change your questions. Rephrasing things to let them know you have decided your decision is life for your baby will usually help them switch gears into finding the right help to support that decision.
“If you aren’t qualified to help, please refer us to someone who can?”
“Who do you know that you can refer us to for the baby’s care?”
“Since we are not choosing to abort, how will you support us in our decision?
Since you and your baby are the patients, you have a right to seek the most qualified help you can to make the outcome the best it can be for both of you. If that person is not your current doctor, ask who would be better suited to take your case on. You can also ask for a second opinion to confirm the initial diagnosis for the baby before you make any rash decisions. Plenty of babies with diagnoses in utero have been born perfectly healthy. Don’t make the mistake of thinking the first diagnosis is the right one. Even if the diagnosis is confirmed, you will have better information than just one. Chances are, a second opinion may yield some better suggestions on how to handle delivery and care than one.
Parents and family members will always have their opinions about what you should do when facing a challenging pregnancy. What matters most is what you choose to do as the baby’s parents. No one else is living with the decision to choose life for a baby with disabilities like you are. Today’s medicine has made many advancements in dealing with all kinds of pediatric disabilities. The ability to enhance the quality of life for a child with a disability is immeasurable. No matter what, options and care plans will make this work for you, your baby, and your family.
If you would life support in choosing life for a baby with disabilities, your local pregnancy care center is ready to assist you with emotional, spiritual, and practical help. If you would like to talk to someone about choosing life for a baby with disabilities, reach out to us today for pregnancy counseling. We are here to support you.
July 8, 2021By Brittany Paladino
There is some exciting news brewing about the fight for life and the supreme court here in the U.S. Of course, the fact that overturning Roe V. Wade is an opportunity at all is enough to celebrate. But there is plenty to be concerned about if you look at the global Pro-Life fight and what other countries are doing that we should consider with serious caution. We cannot underestimate the power of the pro-abortion movement but at home and abroad. Just as we fight on, they are working tirelessly to undo every win we get, and they have a lot of deep pockets funding their efforts.
The possibility of Roe V. Wade being eradicated from United States law would be monumental. But it also wouldn’t mean that abortion is automatically outlawed everywhere in the U.S. The states would still be free to determine their own course. Although, the abolishment of Roe V. Wade would seriously dampen their efforts and strengthen the Pro-Life resolve. What is going on overseas that we should give thought to, and how should that information shape our strategy in the fight for life?
The good news with the Pro-Life movement in America is that we only have one country to consider. The bad news with the global pro-life fight is that with every country comes a new set of laws, and those laws can shape or direct how other neighboring countries steer their abortion laws. How do those decisions in other countries affect the fight for life in the United States? For one, the pro-abortion movement in America pays close attention to what they can accomplish in other countries to see how they can be introduced and implemented here.
There are so many countries to consider, all ranging from very limited legal abortion laws to throwing the door widely open for those who would consider one. This makes understanding what the global public would consider acceptable from a moral perspective on abortion a bit more challenging.
We must open our eyes to the reality that the world shapes the American point of view, not the other way around. Accepting this helps us be more cautious as to what we are really fighting against. For one, it is completely illegal in Britain to do anything outside of an abortion clinic to help women choose life. While American Pro-lifers are increasingly more hampered in their efforts, the outright illegalization of occupying space outside of an abortion clinic to offer help is not illegal yet. Since this law in Britain exists, we must consider that the pro-abortion movement in the U.S. is trying to do the same here. They are already successful in some states in determining where a group of Pro-lifers can stand to offer help. We must consider all possibilities.
With the conversation of Roe V. Wade being overturned, it is not nearly time for a round of high fives in the Pro-Life movement. Anything can happen. We still need to get up every day and determine how we will win the ground game of helping choose life for their unborn children instead of death. That is where most of this battle is won or lost anyway.
Pregnancy resource centers all around America are struggling with staying afloat financially as we come out of the pandemic. In-person fundraising events, which were so vital to pregnancy resource centers surviving, have been non-existent for nearly two years. With no in-person fundraising, pregnancy resource centers in America and globally are struggling to stay open and fund the programs they make available to women who are choosing life.
No matter what goes on at the Supreme Court in the U.S., we still must war on locally. The needs women have in the fight for life didn’t stop because we had a pandemic to deal with. Your commitment to life must include monetary giving for those who are making a choice you want them to make. Will you consider giving to a local pregnancy resource center like ABC Women’s Center so we can be there for the next mother who chooses life for her unborn baby? We pay attention to the global pro-life fight to understand what could come next here, but we give to help the wins are seeing here in America.
July 1, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Being a parent is a wonderful experience. It is also a challenging one. For parents who are in it full-time and those who are single, it comes with extra effort. At times, being a parent can feel overwhelming. When you are working while parenting, those long days at work to come home to excited kids eagerly awaiting your time and attention can feel like a lot. Being a tired parent does not mean you have to be a mentally absent one.
There are times when parents need a moment of refreshment. Trying to do too much and also show up for your children is not usually going to go well. As adults, we tend to over schedule, under care for ourselves, and not admit when we need rest. Parents have to add a little extra to that last sentence. Kids need a lot. They also need more than just our leftovers. If that makes you feel a little guilty, take heart that most parents feel that way. Being a tired parent does not mean you have to walk around with guilt on your shoulders too.
Making sure you are both physically and mentally available for your children takes purposeful planning. Trying to rally what is left of the day to give to our kids is frustrating for everyone involved. Since we know our kids take up a lot of our time, and rightfully so, we need to plan to be available to them. Like everything else in our lives, we need to schedule the time to make sure we are giving them our best.
There are a few ways that tired parents plan to be available for their kids. The first one is planning to be there for yourself first. Many a tired parent is that way because they spend too much time pouring into everyone and everything else and not into themselves. A tired parent who does to first take care of themselves is a frustrated and resentful one. What does it mean to take care of yourself first? That varies by person, but here are a few things to get the ideas going.
Showing up for you will help you show up for your kids one hundred times faster than trying to give them what you do not have. If you want to be available to your kids, you have to have something to give. Make sure you are filling yourself up before you try to pour into someone else. That starts with taking better care of yourself, physically and spiritually.
Emotional stress is draining. A mom or dad who is feeling emotional stress will bring the whole house down. Life comes with challenges. We know that. The trick is to not unwittingly add to the stress that being a parent and a human in this world brings. Some things to consider in bringing more peace in your life are often relational. Who we allow in our lives and what we do about it matter more than you might think in you being available for your kids. A tired parent might be tired because relationships in their lives are taking too much energy away from their kids.
For married parents, focusing on getting and maintaining a healthy marriage is everything in being available, and an example for your children. Volatile marriages create an emotionally unstable home environment for you and your kids. Emotional upheaval in marriage also saps time away from your children. So much damage is caused in the home by not purposefully focusing on a good marriage. How do you fix it?
For single parents, the idea of maintaining healthy relationships and letting go of the ones that are not becoming ever more so. Single parents who date need to be mindful of the kinds of people they let into their lives. A relationship that does not respect the importance of your role as a parent has to go. Your children come first, no matter who does not seem to understand that. A healthy relationship should encourage you in your role as a parent, not become jealous or greedy for your time.
Sometimes unhealthy relationships that make for a tired parent are not romantic. Friendships that require too much emotional time and energy must be released as well. Your kids are the most important people you will ever have a relationship with. Anyone who does not understand or respect that should not be allowed to interfere with your desire to be a good parent.
Sometimes some good advice and godly direction are all we need to find peace in this world. Being a tired parent does not have to be a permanent assignment. If you follow these suggestions and seek help where necessary on being a good parent, you will find parenting a much more rewarding experience. ABC Women’s Center offers parenting courses for any parent who needs better techniques and direction. Contact us today to find out more about our parenting classes and let go of being a tired parent for good.
June 17, 2021By Brittany Paladino
Father’s Day is hot on our heels. Have you finished your Father’s Day shopping yet? If you are like me, you are in a quandary over what to do to make Dad feel celebrated this year. There are only so many cool t-shirts, and sports fan hats you can get a man! Father’s Day is about honoring the position of father, whatever that means to your family. More importantly, how can your kids genuinely honor dad, even when their relationship with their father isn’t what it should be?
A lot of moms struggle with this conundrum. It’s fair to say that for some Father’s Day is just another reminder of what isn’t. But that doesn’t mean that Father’s Day should be ignored or be used to be a mean-spirited jab at the one who holds the title. Being a good mother is about modeling the behavior that we want our children to follow. We want our children to be compassionate and forgiving. It starts with us.
If the relationship between your kids and their father is strained or has been distant lately, a video message for Father’s Day can be just the bridge over the emotional gap. It doesn’t cost a dime to make a short video aimed a letting Dad know he is thought of on Father’s Day.
Keep the message short and positive. Let your kids’ father know he is still valued for the role he plays, even if he is not fulfilling it the way he should right now. We’ve all been at points in our lives that we wish others didn’t get to witness. Bearing that in mind when you roll this idea out to your kids is a good way to present the idea without being met with resistance. When kids don’t have a good relationship with their dad, their little hearts are hurting. That comes out in angry ways. Kids don’t do a great job of articulating how they feel and why. Well, a lot of adults don’t either, let’s be honest. If this idea is met with an emotional reaction, let them vent how they feel. It’s okay to get the words out and help them process.
Once the emotions are out of the way, it’s time to start planning what Dad’s video message will be like. What does your child want to say? Writing out what you want to say before you say it will make the video go smoother because they aren’t thinking while they’re speaking. Will the video include props? Making pictures or art to showcase in the video is a cute way to bring in your child’s artistic talents and will liven up the video. Your kids can honor Dad by using their creative talents to show him what they like to do.
If a video isn’t in the cards, how about making one? Sending off a package of homemade Father’s Day cards, a recent picture of your child, and maybe a handwritten note from your child is a great way your kids can honor dad for Father’s Day from a distance. This is also another super low-cost way to help your kids make Father’s Day special for their dad without breaking the bank having to spend a lot of money shipping things.
Who doesn’t like homemade stuff from their kids? Get a large shipping envelope from your local Dollar Store and take it home to allow your kids to decide what they will put in there for Dad’s care package. They will have fun trying to figure out what to put in there to make Dad feel loved for Father’s Day. They can even decorate the outside of the envelope for Dad as well.
Sharing the love from a distance makes the heart grow fonder for everyone. He might not be expecting a package from your child. That can be just the remedy he needs to get to mending fences with your kids.
Even if you don’t think you are showing it, your kids know when you do not think well of their father. We carry that pain around with us every day. When Father’s Day comes, it gets upfront and personal for the whole house. If you would like to talk to someone about single parenting and how to help yourself and your kids do a better job of navigating a single-parent household, contact us today for our parenting classes. We are here to help the whole family thrive.