Life involves having to make big decisions from time to time. Some of those decisions can even change the course of your life.
What the outcome of your decision will be has a lot to do with the steps you take before you make a big decision. Rushing into anything out of fear of the future can have damaging consequences. Trying to make a big decision when you are overly emotional is also not recommended. Big decisions require a lot of thought. That is why there are certain steps to take before you get to the answer you need.
It is easy to step into fear and build awful case scenarios in your mind. Doing that can cause many nights of lost sleep and days of lost appetite. But trying to imagine the worst things that can happen and panicking over each one does not help you make a big decision. It paralyzes you from making any decision at all.
What can you do to help you wade through the emotions you need to process to come to the right next step when you have to make a big decision? The steps one needs to take do not create an immediate solution, but it does help you feel confident that you’ve made the right one for you.
Take These Steps Before You Make A Big Decision
The first thing one usually does when they make a big decision is call all their friends and go over the decision. While this sounds like it would be a good idea. Oftentimes, this proves to be more confusing and frustrating than anything else. Friends want to do one of two things when you are going through something and want advice. They will either put themselves in your shoes and tell you what you should do, or they will think of more things to panic over that you didn’t think of yet.
Friends are usually well-meaning in their advice-giving, but they are still not living your life and don’t have all the details necessary to help you make a big decision. Taking this step first is the best move before you call your friends.
Make A List Of Pros And Cons
This may sound overly simplified, but making a list on paper of all the pros and cons of your decisions can be instrumental in helping you see the bigger picture. It is the added step of taking what is in one’s mind and putting it to paper that can help one sort through emotions and put things into a more practical perspective.
When you have to make a big decision, there will never be a choice that is 100% without compromise. Every decision is going to carry with it some kind of a con. That is what you need to see clearly with every decision you make.
Look at the columns. Which side is longer, pros or cons? Don’t stop there. Look at the cons specifically. Can you live with those cons? How much are you willing to be committed to the cons side, just as much as the pros?
If there is a decision that includes cons you can’t live with, it has to come off the decision table. Going through this process will help you have better conversations with the people helping you make a big decision. This brings us to the next step when you have to make a big decision.
Seek Wise Counsel For Advice
At first glance, it may seem like you have to go to your friends now. But wise is the operative word here. Not all of your friends are making great decisions based on their infinite wisdom in life, are they? A wise person is someone who has learned how to live rightly. These people can be clergy members, your grandmother, or even a friend’s relative. We can usually recognize who these wise people are when we think about it. Take your revised pro and con list to your wise counsel and go over the list again. Talk about your fears and ask them to help you put things into perspective.
If You Have To Make A Big Decision Regarding Someone Else
There are times when our big decisions involve the lives of other people. These are the hardest decisions of all. When big decisions impact the lives of our children, that is a gut-wrenching place to be. It is not easy to realize that we have to our children ahead of what we want for ourselves in life, but that is what a parent does.
In moments like these, talking to a person experienced in helping parents is necessary. Parents facing these decisions need to know they can talk to someone who has real answers and can help them make a big decision without judgment. Is that you? Do you need to talk to someone regarding what to do in your life that impacts your child? Contact us today. We can offer help with decisions regarding your unborn child and help you with parenting skills for the children you are raising now.